His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
