just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
