How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
