On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
