i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
