so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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