I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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