i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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