Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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