I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize