i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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