you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
