i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
