no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
