so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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