Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My life is pants optional.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
