he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
