i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
All I want is dick and wine.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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