im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
