I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
