the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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