you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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