Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
