is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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