first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
