He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
do herpes really smell.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize