You're my little dorito
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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