Moan for me like Helen Keller
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
