We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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