she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize