it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize