There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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