If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
