Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
