Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
