Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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