i need an iv and a liver transplant
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Randomize
