all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
