no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
