I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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