Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
