Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
