Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
