I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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