did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We got so high we made milksteak
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
