I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize