you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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