I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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