Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
