there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
