And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
