so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
