With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
