Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
