does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
